20 comic book movies that shouldn't be made

[Doc Beechler]

There are about two here that I would actually pay money to see.

[Randy Jackson]

I could see some of them being good, but most being absolute disasters--more because of the people involved than any other reason.

I remember the Powerpuff Girls movie, and thinking that they really made a bad choice in doing an origin rather than some sort of epic adventure.  I would not want to see a live action version.

[Clowny]

Actually, the camp factor on some of those just screams "so bad it's good!"

[David W]

Can't read the article from work.
It is filtered because the sight is "Tasteless"

[Alan M.]

Yup. That about describes Cracked...

[ClarkKent_DC]

Can't read the article from work.
It is filtered because the sight is "Tasteless"

Likewise, although I don't know what rationale is applied for any site that is blocked.

[Chris Fluit]

Actually, the camp factor on some of those just screams "so bad it's good!"

I agree.  Bring on "Terry Long" and the all-Johnny Depp Avengers! 

[Doc Beechler]

I would watch the Adventures in Vampire Babysitting with Blade...

[The_Hornd_One]

#20-18. No.
#17. Maybe. Get an unknown, make it about Dick Grayson's transition from older Robin to Nightwing, like the Year One story. No big-collar disco-era suit, please.
#16. No. Never read the comic, but Mike Myers is too much a comedic actor to do Spider.
#15-#2. NO.
#1. That was already done with 'Superhero Movie.'

[Randy Jackson]

20-18: Just plain silly
17: I would be down with that, as long as they can cast someone appropriate for the role
16: No
15: Eh, would it matter?
14: Not unless it's talking Mojo Jojo CGI monkey and it's not an origin...
13-12: You know, if they actually stayed away from the more prurient aspects...
11: I don't think Tracy Morgan has the Gravitas to play Black Vulcan.  Better get Chris Tucker
10: No
9: Heeelllll No.
8: Nah
7: Can I vomit right now?
6: No
5: I could perhaps see that being fun--especially if Simon Pegg played Dracula
4: I think Depp is talented enough to pull that off in some way, shape or form.  I wouldn't say great movie, but likely enjoyable on a They Live sort of level
3: Heeeeeeeeeelllllllllllll no.
2: Eh, sounds right up Farrell's alley
1. In the name of all that's holy, NO, No, No!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Alan M.]

#17. Maybe. Get an unknown, make it about Dick Grayson's transition from older Robin to Nightwing, like the Year One story. No big-collar disco-era suit, please.

17: I would be down with that, as long as they can cast someone appropriate for the role

You guys did notice that that's Keanu Reeves in the Robin costume, right?

[Alan M.]

So I keep thinking about this one...

...and I ask myself, if Tim Burton were to do an Avengers movie, who would he actually cast?

Well, he does love him some Johnny Depp, so I agree he would be in there. Iron Man would be the most obvious choice. But there are certain other actors he likes to re-use, too.

Helena Bonham Carter, for one. Assuming we're talking original Avengers, that pretty much guarantees her being cast as Wasp, yeah?

If he went back to the stars of some of his recent movies, you've got Mark Wahlberg (Planet of the Apes) as your Captain America, Ewan McGregor (Big Fish) as Ant-Man, and Sacha Baron Cohen (Sweeney Todd) as Bruce Banner/Hulk. He could also grab Freddie Highmore (Charlie and the Chocolate Factory) as Rick Jones (if he wanted to skew the character slightly younger).

Oh, and for Jarvis, I figure he'd go with one of two other Burton favorites: either Michael Gough (which would then make him an actor having played two butlers-to-the-superheroes) or Jeffrey Jones.

And that just leaves us Thor. I'm really not sure where to go with this one, but looking through some other Burton movies, I'll hearken back to Sleepy Hollow and grab one of its antagonists: Casper Van Dien. (A bit more wildcard casting might take Big Fish's Billy Crudup in this role, too...)

Once you've got the team lineup, you need an enemy. Loki, as played by Paul Reubens? Ultron, by Christopher Walken? Actually, I like both of those, and they could work together (Loki's mischief brings Pym's invention to life and turns it evil...).

So there you have it. My proposal:

THE AVENGERS
a TIM BURTON film

Staring
Mark Wahlberg ............. Steve Rogers/Captain America
Johnny Depp ................. Tony Stark/Iron Man
Ewan McGregor ............. Hank Pym/Ant-Man
Helena Bonham Carter ... Janet Van Dyne/The Wasp
Sacha Baron Cohen ........ Bruce Banner/The Hulk
Casper Van Dien ............ Thor
Paul Reubens ................ Loki
Christopher Walken ........ Ultron
Freddie Highmore .......... Rick Jones
Jeffrey Jones ................ Jarvis

[Cavalier]

11: I don't think Tracy Morgan has the Gravitas to play Black Vulcan.  Better get Chris Tucker

[Mr. Satanism]

I see Cracked is just as funny as it ever was.

By the way, I'm being sarcastic. 

[The_Hornd_One]

Yes, Alan, I saw the image.